Friday, February 18, 2011

Girls in the forest

I have decided that warm spells in February are the perfect time for me to explore the woods. I really do love the outdoors, just not all the insects and spiders that seem so necessary to nature. I think Heaven will be insect free or perhaps my new body will include some chemicals in my perspiration that doubles as insect/spider repellent. Either one works for me. God knows which of those two options is best :) Does anyone really wonder why God thought it best to give us all girls?

So today was a fantastic day for exploring. It was about 65 degrees and there wasn't a bug or spider web to be found in the woods. The girls went down ahead into the woods with Mike and a friend from school. Suzy, Vee and I brought up the rear. Having not been down there much last summer was really showing. It was hard to find a path to the creek. Even so we were only about 5 minutes behind Mike and the "big" kids. In those mere 300 seconds they had managed to discover and TOUCH a deer skull down by the creek. As I walked up with Vee, they were poking into a pooled part of the creek with a stick saying "I think this is its leg. Yeah, there's its hoof!" OH MY GOSH people! what is wrong with you???? My husband is simply saying "Now don't put your hands in your mouth till we get back up to the house since you've touched the head". Yeeeaaccck! Get out of the dead deer soup of a pond children! At least they're wearing their rain boots, but still- who knows what kind of horrible diseases are breeding in there with the decaying 8 point's meatier parts. Mike is now down by the creek (WITH Veronica I might add) and because of his wife's gagging and loud protests from afar is trying to move the children along. I head back the way i came under the pretense of making a path from our house to a point further down the creek, but mainly so i can get as much distance as possible between the dead deer soup and my gag reflex. I can hear the girls moving down the creek, screaming about every 20 yards or so. Although what they are screeching about I have no idea as they've already been playing with a dead deer, so what can be so gross that they have to screech??

So i'm stomping around smushing waist high weeds (did i mention we weren't down there much last year) and making this path so that no one needs to go anywhere near the other end of the creek again, when my husband walks up to me CARRYING the muddy crusty deer skull AND my baby. Again, it must be asked "What is wrong with you???" to which he replied "Don't worry, she didn't touch it". Needless to say, I take Vee from him. Mike takes the water bottle from me, opens the cap and takes a drink. Now what 21 month old doesn't want what somebody else has? exactly, so Mike offers Vee a drink and as she's drinking she reaches up and touches the cap. Just where Mike had used his dead deer hands to touch the cap. Now my baby is teething, she's got those fingers in her mouth all the time. What are now dead deer infected fingers. I did the only thing I could think of, I collected as much saliva as i could and I spit on her hand and wiped it all over my shirt. While it may not be as dramatic as throwing myself in front of a bus or a speeding bullet, it wasn't without sacrifice that I dead deer infected my new GAP hoodie. Sure enough 4 of her fingers were in her mouth within 2 minutes. Mothers save the lives of their toddlers everyday, today just happened to be in the forest.